“I Caught My Boyfriend Texting Another Woman, But Now I Don’t Think I Want To Move On”
BY: DR. SHERRY
You’ve seen celebrity clinical psychologist Dr. Sherry Blake, author of The Single Married Woman:
True Stories of Why Women Feel Alone in Their Marriages keep the Braxton sisters calm on the
hit show, Braxton Family Values. Now it’s your turn to sit in her chair…
Dear Dr. Sherry,
About two weeks ago I discovered my boyfriend, whom I’ve only been with two
months, has been texting another girl. There was no intimacy other than kissing
and cuddling. While we’re both only 19, and we’ve only been together a short
while but I can’t force myself to break away.
The mere two months we’ve had together have been euphoric. We went on
vacation together, I met his parents and we get along very well. He met my
grandparents and they get along as well. While I understand the time we spend
together seems insignificant we experienced so much together and I feel like I
could spend the rest of my life with him.
This is not the first relationship or serious relationship I’ve been in but other than
the cheating, this is the healthiest relationship I’ve ever been in. I asked him why
he did what he did and he said his former relationship was so toxic it’s hard for
him to break away from the pattern. (Their relationship consisted of cheating and
emotional abuse. He was not the abuser.) Since our breakup, I’ve been giving him
plenty of space and room to grow but I still think of him daily. Once in a while,
he’ll text me but other than that we have no contact and we’ve discussed maybe
one day down the road getting back together but he’s unsure of what he wants. I
don’t know whether or not I should move on or wait for him. I am so young but I
am so in love.
Please help.
Sincerely,
Young And In love
Hey Sis,
You are so right! At age 19, you are so young to be so in love. There is absolutely
nothing wrong with being in love but there is a problem with putting your love life in park
until the other person grows up and decides if he want to move forward with you. You
could be stuck in park for years. You are handing over the keys by putting someone
else in the drivers’ seat of your life. In fact, your friend may never grow up or decide that
he wants to be in a relationship with you. Love will come and love will go in relationships
but you must love yourself enough to avoid settling for anyone. Having fun and some
good times together should not be interpreted as love. It is indeed time to move on and
find love many times with different people before falling in love with the right person.
—Dr. Sherry